there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
