if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sobbing to NWA
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
