I hope mine doesn't look like that
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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