dude i'm inner monologue high
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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