Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize