He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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