Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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