need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize