i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
