Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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