I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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