this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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