I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
How naked do you want me to be?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
