dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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