yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
