He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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