Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
