bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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