Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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