With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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