Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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