What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
