He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
