You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Even my vagina gasped.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
