Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
