hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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