It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
