Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
