that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
