North Korea, Best Korea!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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