they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize