we're blogging at a bar
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
