i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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