my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
