No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
