i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
