when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
