i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He felt like a one man threesome
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
