Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
