the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
