"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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