I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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