babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
