yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
