So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
