the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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