i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize