I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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