My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
