Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
this will be a night to untag.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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