It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
