I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just invented taco cereal.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
