Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so that wasnt chicken after all
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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