How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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