My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Welp...herpes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
