1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
