I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
